South | Monday, January 08, 2007 |
Homer: Bart, I want you to shake hands with -- what's your name, fella?
Roscoe: Roscoe.
Homer: Roscoe here runs this mill. He's gonna show us around to let you
get a first-hand look at real all-American Joes doing what they do
best.
Bart: Why the hell would I wanna see that?
Homer: [sotto voce] You'll thank me on your wedding night.
-- SNIP --
A bunch of men are working in the mill when Roscoe, Homer and Bart
walk in.
Roscoe: [to all] Hey! Listen up! I want all of youse to say hello to
the Simpsons.
All: [waving in a cliche, sissy-like attitude] Hello-o.
Homer: [gasps] Has the whole world gone insane?!
Worker: [sissy-like] Stand still, there's a spark in your hair!
Worker: Get it! Get it!
Homer: [whimpers]
[another guy walks past Homer holding a vat of hot steel in hot
pants]
Worker: Hot stuff, comin' through!
Homer: [screams]
Bart: Dad, why'd you bring me to a gay steel mill?
Homer: [frightened] I don't know! This is a NIGHTMARE! YOU'RE ALL
SICK!
Worker: [waving his hand] Oh be nice!
Homer: Oh! My son doesn't stand a chance! The whole world's gone gay!
[a whistle goes off]
Oh my god! What's happening now?
Roscoe: We work hard. We play hard. [pulls a chain]
["Everybody Dance Now" starts playing]
-- Oh, that ain't good news, "Homer's Phobia"
Suddenly, a hi-tech disco ball slides down and the entire mill turns
into a night club called "The Anvil", with smoke and dance stands and
everything, with every worker dancing along "Everybody Dance Now."
Homer slowly backs away, frightened, hiding Bart's eyes.
[End of Act Three. Time: 13:45]
AND WHY, you may ask, is any of this relevant? Wollongong. A steel town. Think Shefield except with surf beaches, parrots and bikinis. More on our southern escapades later.
Roscoe: Roscoe.
Homer: Roscoe here runs this mill. He's gonna show us around to let you
get a first-hand look at real all-American Joes doing what they do
best.
Bart: Why the hell would I wanna see that?
Homer: [sotto voce] You'll thank me on your wedding night.
-- SNIP --
A bunch of men are working in the mill when Roscoe, Homer and Bart
walk in.
Roscoe: [to all] Hey! Listen up! I want all of youse to say hello to
the Simpsons.
All: [waving in a cliche, sissy-like attitude] Hello-o.
Homer: [gasps] Has the whole world gone insane?!
Worker: [sissy-like] Stand still, there's a spark in your hair!
Worker: Get it! Get it!
Homer: [whimpers]
[another guy walks past Homer holding a vat of hot steel in hot
pants]
Worker: Hot stuff, comin' through!
Homer: [screams]
Bart: Dad, why'd you bring me to a gay steel mill?
Homer: [frightened] I don't know! This is a NIGHTMARE! YOU'RE ALL
SICK!
Worker: [waving his hand] Oh be nice!
Homer: Oh! My son doesn't stand a chance! The whole world's gone gay!
[a whistle goes off]
Oh my god! What's happening now?
Roscoe: We work hard. We play hard. [pulls a chain]
["Everybody Dance Now" starts playing]
-- Oh, that ain't good news, "Homer's Phobia"
Suddenly, a hi-tech disco ball slides down and the entire mill turns
into a night club called "The Anvil", with smoke and dance stands and
everything, with every worker dancing along "Everybody Dance Now."
Homer slowly backs away, frightened, hiding Bart's eyes.
[End of Act Three. Time: 13:45]
AND WHY, you may ask, is any of this relevant? Wollongong. A steel town. Think Shefield except with surf beaches, parrots and bikinis. More on our southern escapades later.
